04 2 / 2012

You are the sort of person that needs a peaceful environment. You seek release from stress and freedom from conflicts and disagreements, of which you seem to have had more than your fair share. But you are taking pains to control the situation by proceeding cautiously and you are right in doing so as you are a very sensitive person.

The way things are you are under considerable stress and you feel that there is little hope of matters righting themselves. Everyone about you seems to aggravate the problem even more. You feel that at this time you need to be alone and you are right - move back and give yourself a chance to breathe.

Your confidence has been shattered. There are so many things that you would like to do with your life, so many dreams to be fulfilled - and you know that your hopes and dreams are not just figments of your imagination, they are real and you are looking for reassurance from someone. Basically your fears are such that you may be prevented in attaining your hopes and dreams. Even now you would like to broaden your fields of endeavour but in order to develop your ‘inner- self’ you need peace and solace. You are distressed by the fear that you may be prevented from attaining your goals. What you really need at this particular moment in time is quiet reassurance from someone close to you to restore your confidence.

Whatever has caused the situation, you just don’t seem to be able to sustain or maintain relationships as you would wish to. What you really seek is to be able to develop a relationship with someone with whom you can truly share: Love, Serenity, Peace and Quiet. But you are a very demanding person and it is your nature that leads to disquiet and discord: you are like the tide, flotsam and jetsam… One minute you experience ‘highs’ and a few moments later ‘lows’. This obviously will introduce discord into any relationship and with this demanding attitude - the ideal state you desire is unable to develop. Despite the urge to gratify your natural desires, you impose a considerable self-restraint on your instincts in the belief that this demonstrates your superiority and raises you above the common herd. You are extremely critical of everything that is presently going on around you and you find it difficult to listen to or to take advice from anyone. You enjoy the original, the ingenious and the subtle.

You would like to be respected and valued for yourself and this can only be achieved from within a close and harmonious relationship.

Totally fucking accurate. Down to a t.

(Source: colorgenicstest.com)

12 12 / 2011


Almost 200 followers! Wow, I feel so privileged. :) Thought I’d just take a minute to say hello to all my followers and tell some of you new guys a little about me.
I’m Kasey and I’m a college student in West Texas. I’m generally friendly and I like talking to people. I struggle a lot with staying happy, but I know it’s a worthwhile fight, so I keep trying. I like nail polish and hair, and shoes and dresses, just as much as I like sports and girls, and cars and tools. I’m quite open with who I am because it reminds me that I have every reason to be confident and not tear myself down. I’m prone to fits of sadness or anger, but I always recover because I know I can do this if I keep my mind at it. If you give me a chance, I think I’ll love you. If you give me a chance, I think you’ll love me too. :)

Almost 200 followers! Wow, I feel so privileged. :) Thought I’d just take a minute to say hello to all my followers and tell some of you new guys a little about me.

I’m Kasey and I’m a college student in West Texas. I’m generally friendly and I like talking to people. I struggle a lot with staying happy, but I know it’s a worthwhile fight, so I keep trying. I like nail polish and hair, and shoes and dresses, just as much as I like sports and girls, and cars and tools. I’m quite open with who I am because it reminds me that I have every reason to be confident and not tear myself down. I’m prone to fits of sadness or anger, but I always recover because I know I can do this if I keep my mind at it. If you give me a chance, I think I’ll love you. If you give me a chance, I think you’ll love me too. :)

01 8 / 2011

Scary! <3
Intro time? I have new followers, and lovely anons. I think it calls for a small hello. :)
The name’s Kasey. 19 years old, attending college, trying to make things work. :) I like doing nails, singing, and cuddling. I’m obsessed with mermaids, hair, Klaine, Harry Potter, Starkid, nail polish and pearls. I like wearing jeans and t-shirts just as much as I like wearing dresses. <3 I adore high heels and cute animals, and children and strong, confident people.
I really love all my followers, and I’m always here for anyone that needs a friend. Don’t ever hesitate to drop a message! <3

Scary! <3

Intro time? I have new followers, and lovely anons. I think it calls for a small hello. :)

The name’s Kasey. 19 years old, attending college, trying to make things work. :) I like doing nails, singing, and cuddling. I’m obsessed with mermaids, hair, Klaine, Harry Potter, Starkid, nail polish and pearls. I like wearing jeans and t-shirts just as much as I like wearing dresses. <3 I adore high heels and cute animals, and children and strong, confident people.

I really love all my followers, and I’m always here for anyone that needs a friend. Don’t ever hesitate to drop a message! <3

05 7 / 2011

150 followers! I&#8217;m so honored~
Introduction time?
I&#8217;m Kasey, about to be 19 in about 2 and a half weeks. I struggle with dysthymia and have a passion for lovely things. I really like talking, and am always open to conversations. :) I tend to use my tumblr as a ground for complaining since I don&#8217;t really do it too much out loud. I&#8217;m silly and loud, and a little bit of a bitch. I have a wonderful family and a blessed life, and I try not to forget that. Drop me a line; I&#8217;d love to get to know my followers. :)

150 followers! I’m so honored~

Introduction time?

I’m Kasey, about to be 19 in about 2 and a half weeks. I struggle with dysthymia and have a passion for lovely things. I really like talking, and am always open to conversations. :) I tend to use my tumblr as a ground for complaining since I don’t really do it too much out loud. I’m silly and loud, and a little bit of a bitch. I have a wonderful family and a blessed life, and I try not to forget that. Drop me a line; I’d love to get to know my followers. :)

24 6 / 2011

I&#8217;m Not Sad Today.
I&#8217;m not sad because I am alive. I&#8217;m not sad because I have a family that loves me. I&#8217;m not sad because I am living in conditions which allow me to never feel true hunger, allow me to stay comfortable, allow me to access luxuries like the internet. I&#8217;m not sad because my life is on the track that I want. I&#8217;m not sad because despite my struggles, I am still here, and that&#8217;s not changing.
I am proud of who I am, the mistakes I&#8217;ve made and the lessons that I&#8217;ve learned from them. Even though I don&#8217;t always feel it, I know I am strong enough to make it through life&#8217;s obstacles.
In my early life, I was abused emotionally, physically and sexually by my father. He has harbored issues with his own life for at least thirty years, and drinks them away. My mom was in school at the time, getting her degree, and was away often. Dad would drink more when she was gone, and would lose his control over himself. I would hide my brother as well as I could, and take as much of it as I could, which was usually far too much. I didn&#8217;t tell my mother until about two years ago. At the time, I didn&#8217;t know that his behavior was wrong. I thought that was just how fathers were. But I&#8217;m not sad because he&#8217;s improved a lot, and though we can never work through this past because he doesn&#8217;t remember it, I have let it be in my past and built a good, working relationship with my dad. The abuse still affects me from time to time, but I have healed well.
Because of this childhood, I developed depression (and dysthymia - a less severe, but much more long term form of depression) very early in my life, and wasn&#8217;t professionally diagnosed until age 8. This was when my mother finally noticed and tried to do something for me. She didn&#8217;t know why I was depressed; she just knew that I was. Off and on for ten years, I have dealt with this condition. Anxiety, lack of sleep, fluctuating appetite, no interest in things, loss of concentration, body aches. It&#8217;s currently my hardest struggle, and has cost me some things that I love very dearly, but I&#8217;m not sad because I know I can conquer it. Maybe not permanently, but I can be in control. I will be in control.
Around the time that other little girls were beginning to &#8220;ooh&#8221; and &#8220;ah&#8221; over little boys, I was quietly noticing the other little girls. I didn&#8217;t know that there was a word for this inclination, but I knew it wasn&#8217;t normal, and that I should keep it to myself. It haunted me for a very long time, and I tried very hard to ignore it. I lost girl friends to my strange looks, and eventually lost many friends. I eventually embraced it, and, in a seemingly cruel twist of fate, I suddenly starting feeling attracted to boys, as well as girls. New confusion, new mockery, less friends. When I was in 7th grade, I accepted that I was attracted to both genders, and no longer hid it. I lost all of my girl friends, which wasn&#8217;t saying much by that point because most of my friends were boys at that point. (To an extent, that had always been true, and is true now, but it hurt to lose my few girl friends.) I was asked not to go into the girls&#8217; locker room anymore, because of &#8220;complaints&#8221; from girls, and I was ostracized by many people. Eventually the intolerance became less and less active, and though I never hid my preference, I tried not to draw attention to it. Occasionally I hear a nasty remark my way, or a Bible shoved in my bag, but I&#8217;m not sad, because labels and genders do not limit me, and my friends now are all accepting people and love me just as I am, and these experiences allow me to help others who face bullying for their sexual orientation.
When I entered high school, I got my first serious boyfriend. He was much older than me, and had manipulated me. Despite all that happened even at this point, I was naive, and too willing to finally be accepted. He isolated me from my friends and family, and abused me physically, emotionally and sexually. He was a sickeningly good actor, and made sure no one believed my pleas for help. I was trapped; either be far too promiscuous with him in public or be hurt in private. I got very good with makeup. On what was supposed to be a lunch date, he raped me in broad daylight. I thought I was pregnant and thought my life was over. The reputation he gave me haunted me throughout high school, and I never regained the friends I lost. To this day, my parents don&#8217;t know the extent of the abuse. I couldn&#8217;t handle physical contact for many months and struggled with intimacy for even longer. But, I&#8217;m not sad, because that ordeal taught me a lot about myself, and helped me grow into the woman I am today, albeit in a terrible and difficult way. I learned what was good for me, and what behavior was not acceptable in a healthy relationship. I finally refused to be the victim anymore and took control of my life again, instead of letting that experience control me any longer. I&#8217;m not sad because I&#8217;m not a rape victim - I am a rape survivor.
Almost a year later, I entered the first healthy relationship I ever experienced. I loved him for over three years. He was my best friend. He made me feel beautiful, loved, deserving. When I went to college, I knew the transition and the distance would be difficult. Within two months, he cheated on me with more than one girl, lied to me and tried to act like he hadn&#8217;t done of it. Then I discovered he was cheating on me before I even left. At the same time, my parents&#8217; fighting escalated higher than ever before and settled on a divorce. After all the healing I had done, I couldn&#8217;t handle the blow. I have entirely relapsed. My depression is worse than it has been in a very long time. But I&#8217;m not sad, because I am determined to face it and feel happy again. I am determined to do this without the attachment of relationship, so that I may be happy as me. I am determined to feel as good again as I did a couple years ago, when I had a stable relationship, real friends, and a comfortable home life. I am determined to be happy that I am alive, that my parents both love me even if they don&#8217;t love each other, that I have too many blessings to even be sad. I don&#8217;t often feel it, but today is one of those days, and I&#8217;m not going to let this strength go.
I&#8217;m Not Sad Today! ♥

I’m Not Sad Today.

I’m not sad because I am alive. I’m not sad because I have a family that loves me. I’m not sad because I am living in conditions which allow me to never feel true hunger, allow me to stay comfortable, allow me to access luxuries like the internet. I’m not sad because my life is on the track that I want. I’m not sad because despite my struggles, I am still here, and that’s not changing.

I am proud of who I am, the mistakes I’ve made and the lessons that I’ve learned from them. Even though I don’t always feel it, I know I am strong enough to make it through life’s obstacles.

In my early life, I was abused emotionally, physically and sexually by my father. He has harbored issues with his own life for at least thirty years, and drinks them away. My mom was in school at the time, getting her degree, and was away often. Dad would drink more when she was gone, and would lose his control over himself. I would hide my brother as well as I could, and take as much of it as I could, which was usually far too much. I didn’t tell my mother until about two years ago. At the time, I didn’t know that his behavior was wrong. I thought that was just how fathers were. But I’m not sad because he’s improved a lot, and though we can never work through this past because he doesn’t remember it, I have let it be in my past and built a good, working relationship with my dad. The abuse still affects me from time to time, but I have healed well.

Because of this childhood, I developed depression (and dysthymia - a less severe, but much more long term form of depression) very early in my life, and wasn’t professionally diagnosed until age 8. This was when my mother finally noticed and tried to do something for me. She didn’t know why I was depressed; she just knew that I was. Off and on for ten years, I have dealt with this condition. Anxiety, lack of sleep, fluctuating appetite, no interest in things, loss of concentration, body aches. It’s currently my hardest struggle, and has cost me some things that I love very dearly, but I’m not sad because I know I can conquer it. Maybe not permanently, but I can be in control. I will be in control.

Around the time that other little girls were beginning to “ooh” and “ah” over little boys, I was quietly noticing the other little girls. I didn’t know that there was a word for this inclination, but I knew it wasn’t normal, and that I should keep it to myself. It haunted me for a very long time, and I tried very hard to ignore it. I lost girl friends to my strange looks, and eventually lost many friends. I eventually embraced it, and, in a seemingly cruel twist of fate, I suddenly starting feeling attracted to boys, as well as girls. New confusion, new mockery, less friends. When I was in 7th grade, I accepted that I was attracted to both genders, and no longer hid it. I lost all of my girl friends, which wasn’t saying much by that point because most of my friends were boys at that point. (To an extent, that had always been true, and is true now, but it hurt to lose my few girl friends.) I was asked not to go into the girls’ locker room anymore, because of “complaints” from girls, and I was ostracized by many people. Eventually the intolerance became less and less active, and though I never hid my preference, I tried not to draw attention to it. Occasionally I hear a nasty remark my way, or a Bible shoved in my bag, but I’m not sad, because labels and genders do not limit me, and my friends now are all accepting people and love me just as I am, and these experiences allow me to help others who face bullying for their sexual orientation.

When I entered high school, I got my first serious boyfriend. He was much older than me, and had manipulated me. Despite all that happened even at this point, I was naive, and too willing to finally be accepted. He isolated me from my friends and family, and abused me physically, emotionally and sexually. He was a sickeningly good actor, and made sure no one believed my pleas for help. I was trapped; either be far too promiscuous with him in public or be hurt in private. I got very good with makeup. On what was supposed to be a lunch date, he raped me in broad daylight. I thought I was pregnant and thought my life was over. The reputation he gave me haunted me throughout high school, and I never regained the friends I lost. To this day, my parents don’t know the extent of the abuse. I couldn’t handle physical contact for many months and struggled with intimacy for even longer. But, I’m not sad, because that ordeal taught me a lot about myself, and helped me grow into the woman I am today, albeit in a terrible and difficult way. I learned what was good for me, and what behavior was not acceptable in a healthy relationship. I finally refused to be the victim anymore and took control of my life again, instead of letting that experience control me any longer. I’m not sad because I’m not a rape victim - I am a rape survivor.

Almost a year later, I entered the first healthy relationship I ever experienced. I loved him for over three years. He was my best friend. He made me feel beautiful, loved, deserving. When I went to college, I knew the transition and the distance would be difficult. Within two months, he cheated on me with more than one girl, lied to me and tried to act like he hadn’t done of it. Then I discovered he was cheating on me before I even left. At the same time, my parents’ fighting escalated higher than ever before and settled on a divorce. After all the healing I had done, I couldn’t handle the blow. I have entirely relapsed. My depression is worse than it has been in a very long time. But I’m not sad, because I am determined to face it and feel happy again. I am determined to do this without the attachment of relationship, so that I may be happy as me. I am determined to feel as good again as I did a couple years ago, when I had a stable relationship, real friends, and a comfortable home life. I am determined to be happy that I am alive, that my parents both love me even if they don’t love each other, that I have too many blessings to even be sad. I don’t often feel it, but today is one of those days, and I’m not going to let this strength go.

I’m Not Sad Today! ♥

26 5 / 2011

I have a handful of new followers. c: Time for an introduction!
I&#8217;m Kasey, and about to be 19 in July. I love talking to people, and I&#8217;m always up for conversation (especially if you just need someone to vent to). :) I abuse smilies, and I post random shit. I have a tendency to obsess over things, such as nail polish, Glee, hair, Starkid, women, Harry Potter, and mermaids. I like to doodle and I post angsty, vague statements that are usually directed at people who will never see them.
Let&#8217;s be friends! o: &lt;3 (Tell me about yourselves!)

I have a handful of new followers. c: Time for an introduction!

I’m Kasey, and about to be 19 in July. I love talking to people, and I’m always up for conversation (especially if you just need someone to vent to). :) I abuse smilies, and I post random shit. I have a tendency to obsess over things, such as nail polish, Glee, hair, Starkid, women, Harry Potter, and mermaids. I like to doodle and I post angsty, vague statements that are usually directed at people who will never see them.

Let’s be friends! o: <3 (Tell me about yourselves!)

13 3 / 2010

For my new followers,
I&#8217;m Kasey. I&#8217;m seventeen. I like to take pictures, draw, play music, take walks, and talk to my friends. I&#8217;m in love with a boy named Brandon, who I&#8217;ve been dating for two years. I&#8217;m about to head off to college this year in a tiny town in West Texas, and I&#8217;m very excited.
I post lots of pictures, and I rant a lot. I mostly reblog other people, and I always follow back. I promise I&#8217;m friendly, and I like to talk to people. Just get to know me, if you&#8217;d like. :)

For my new followers,

I’m Kasey. I’m seventeen. I like to take pictures, draw, play music, take walks, and talk to my friends. I’m in love with a boy named Brandon, who I’ve been dating for two years. I’m about to head off to college this year in a tiny town in West Texas, and I’m very excited.

I post lots of pictures, and I rant a lot. I mostly reblog other people, and I always follow back. I promise I’m friendly, and I like to talk to people. Just get to know me, if you’d like. :)

12 2 / 2010

Hello new followers. (I have 5 new followers, and I think that calls for a little photo. :D)
I&#8217;m Kasey, and I like to paint my nails. I&#8217;m in love with a boy named Brandon and I&#8217;m going to start college in the fall. I like my nerd glasses and I can never get enough hugs. I post anything I like, can relate to, or simply feel like posting. I find beauty in every bit of the world, except myself. (And my best girl friend gave me shoes today. &lt;3)

Hello new followers. (I have 5 new followers, and I think that calls for a little photo. :D)

I’m Kasey, and I like to paint my nails. I’m in love with a boy named Brandon and I’m going to start college in the fall. I like my nerd glasses and I can never get enough hugs. I post anything I like, can relate to, or simply feel like posting. I find beauty in every bit of the world, except myself. (And my best girl friend gave me shoes today. <3)

02 2 / 2010

For my new followers (and for my old ones, in case you didn&#8217;t know :D),
I&#8217;m Kasey. I&#8217;m 17. I like all kinds of music, especially metal. I like art of all kinds and I love to play music. I&#8217;m pretty twisted, but I like to think that I&#8217;m personable and friendly. I like pretty things and I vent to tumblr a lot. If you give me a chance, I hope that you&#8217;ll love me. :)

For my new followers (and for my old ones, in case you didn’t know :D),

I’m Kasey. I’m 17. I like all kinds of music, especially metal. I like art of all kinds and I love to play music. I’m pretty twisted, but I like to think that I’m personable and friendly. I like pretty things and I vent to tumblr a lot. If you give me a chance, I hope that you’ll love me. :)